Ghan

I left Darwin for Alice Springs on Saturday slightly earlier than I would have hoped for one reason - I wanted to travel on the Ghan.

The Ghan is one of the longest train journeys in the world. Starting in Darwin, it makes its way through thousands of miles of the Australian outback, down to Alice Springs in the red centre of the country, before finally arriving in Adelaide some two days after it set off.

It struck me as an infinitely more interesting way of seeing Australia than a flight - even though the journey was 26 hours to Alice Springs. The cost was also relatively cheap. My ticket was $214, which is roughly 85 quid. For that I got a seat with loads of leg room, access to a lounge area and dining car. In short, a lot more than on the average journey back home.

The Ghan is a massive train, but only one carriage was set aside for budget conscious filth like me. For $700 you could have your own bed for the night, which in normal circumstances would be very nice, but not when it's $500 cheaper to make do without. Then for more than $1,000 you could purchase a 'Gold Kangaroo' ticket, which I'm assuming means you get all your food and booze thrown in on top of what everyone else gets. And possibly a complimentary hand job.

I did get given a free copy of Northern Territory News. Given that the territory has a population of just 200,000 spread over an area larger than any European country, it won't surprise you to discover there wasn't really a lot going on. All the 'news' seemed to be about people who had left the area and were now doing rather well for themselves elsewhere. The front page splash was about someone from Darwin who was now playing basketball in America. Occasionally, I'm sure, there is the odd horrific crime to liven things up a bit.

The long, long journey southwards has only been possible since 2004 - despite the idea of a line first being mooted in the 1850s and work commencing in 1877. The reason for this unseemly delay? Rail track in the far north - a part of Australia which goes through a wet season that sometimes sees a metre of rain falling in one day - was originally laid on a flood plain. So it all had to be done again.

First stop on the journey was Katherine, which is the largest town between Darwin and Alice Springs - population 10,000. It is described as the 'jewel of the territory' and has some stunning natural surroundings. We arrived at around 1pm on Saturday and were allowed four hours to explore the area, which struck me as a novel idea. I wonder if they will ever think of doing that in England. Just think - the next time you go to Edinburgh you could have the option of spending four hours in Doncaster.

As we arrived in Katherine around lunch time, I decided not go go on any of the tours available. The town sounded nice from its descriptions, so I had in mind a nice meal, a few drinks in the sun and just a general meander about.

I wasn't expecting Katherine to be a mini Melbourne in the outback. That said, I wasn't expecting it to be the unspeakable hell hole that it unquestionably is either. The main street was one long, wide depressing line-up of shops that appeared to be shut down or closed. A public address system played annoying country and western music for some inexplicable reason - giving a bizarre accompaniment to the despondent atmosphere.

The town's two pubs were without a single shadow of doubt the worst I have ever visited in my entire life. And I've been to a few. Both establishments were stinking, run-down shit holes. But that wasn't what made them so grim - it was the state of the clientele. I have never come across a more desperate group of people anywhere in the western world. It had barely passed 1pm and yet everyone was completely off their faces - young, old, black or white. And I don't mean off your face in a happy down the boozer on a Saturday way - I mean off your face in a incapable of holding a coherent conversation or stand up straight way. Those that weren't slumped up against the bar were gambling what little money they had on slot machines. Every single person looked as if they were suffering from the affects of addiction to alcohol or gambling - or both - or appeared to be mentally ill. I stayed for one drink.

As it was a nice day, I just sat in a park for the remainder of the afternoon. I did go to a bottle shop to get some secret supplies for the evening train journey, however. Outside were a group of Aboriginal children, who pleaded with me to buy them alcohol. I declined.

In a strange way I am grateful to the town of Katherine for providing me with stories to tell people for the rest of my life. On the other hand it was an experience that only my taxi journey through a slum in Mumbai last year could rival when it comes to shocking deprivation. Perhaps I should, after all, have booked myself on a tour that afternoon.

It goes without saying I was pleased when the train departed Katherine. I had a reasonable meal in the dining car, before retiring to the lounge to read books and drink Victoria Bitter. It was a pleasant enough night - about as good as a Saturday evening on a train could possibly be. By midnight I was tired and a bit tipsy, so I retired to my seat and surprised myself by falling asleep with ease.

Dawn in the middle of the outback is a spectacular sight. It also provided a welcome variance to the view outside, which had been virtually the same for all of the journey. Occasionally I saw a wallaby skipping through the bush, or indeed a bushfire, but otherwise it was as desolate as you would expect.

After a decent breakfast, the train pulled into Alice Springs at 11am. It had been a relaxing trip, but I was pleased not to be spending another day on it going to Adelaide.