Anzac Day

Wednesday 25 April was Anzac Day, which is the equivalent here of our Remembrance Sunday.

The big difference in Australia is that you get an extra day off work for it. This is the country with the most public holidays in the world, after all.

It was really weird having a day off in the middle of the week, and not actually as enjoyable as it sounds. My body starts from a point of disrepair at the beginning of the week, before gradually improving after 'normal' nights of non drinking and good nights' sleep. Sticking the equivalent of a Saturday night on a Tuesday interferes with this process somewhat, and also turns Thursday into a Monday. Or something like that.

Anzac Day has all the pomp and pomposity that you would expect from a day about wars. The big difference here is that everyone goes to the pub all day and plays 'two up', which is basically playing 'heads or tails' with somebody for money and was apparently popular with Aussie and Kiwi troops during the First World War. To be fair, I don't suppose there was much else to do...

Anyway, you have to give credit where it's due. Whether you agree with these kinds of events or not, at least the Australians do it properly and make a day of it. Consider the annual charade that is Remembrance Sunday. The overwhelming majority of people who do wear a poppy think they are making some fantastic patriotic statement of gratitude to the war dead, when in fact all they have actually done is put 5p in a collector's tin outside WhSmith and attached a small piece of red and green paper to their coat. Next time this silly season comes around remember to have a look out for people who wear their poppies earlier than most others - they are invariably the most objectionable people you know/work with.

'work choices'

On Sunday I went with friends to a 'Rockin' for Rights' concert at the Sydney Cricket Ground, which was organised by trade unions in protest at the federal government's industrial relations laws.

'Work choices', as the laws are known, are marketed as if they were some kind of consumerist luxury item. The Government claims they are 'simpler', 'fairer' and – in common with the introduction of any new piece of reactionary legislation – 'modern'.

In reality, what they do is significantly weaken the power of trade unions and make it a lot easier for employers to sack people and pay them less. I may not be a resident of Australia, but I'm always up for a good demo – particularly if I can do a spot of drinking during it as well.

More seriously, it should be remembered that political parties of all persuasions swap ideas with their ideological equivalents in other countries. It is therefore entirely conceivable that a version of what a conservative federal government is doing here could be replicated by the Tories should they get back into power at home.

Under work choices, protection from unfair dismissal was removed overnight for people employed by a business that has fewer than 100 staff. This led to the perfectly legal scenario of thousands of workers being 'sacked', only to be re-employed in the same job but with their salary substantially reduced. Work choices also effectively spells the beginning of the end for collective bargaining as it gives employers the right to refuse new staff the same terms and conditions as other workers doing the same job, and to offer individual contracts instead. You can also be legally barred from promotion if you refuse to move onto an individual contract – which you negotiate yourself, not through a trade union.

These are just the worst bits of these laws. Even the United Nations has criticised them, but it goes without saying the business community thinks they are the best thing since sliced bread and has predictably warned of the so called disastrous consequences for the Australian economy if they were to be repealed.

If you look at all the progressive workplace laws that have ever been introduced – going right back to the abolition of slavery – you will always find the same arguments against them trotted out by business and their political friends on the Right. It never ceases to amaze me that employers can behave in the most outrageous way towards people, but somehow this is acceptable and all in the name of some greater economic good.

Any law, rule or basically anything that moves to protect people's basic human rights is somehow a terrible 'burden'. Fuck off! Anyway, I had a laugh at the concert – even though most of the bands were dire. The Government dismissed the event as a stunt, and claimed the fact the unions had to stage a concert proved nobody agreed with them because they wouldn't have protested if there wasn't any music to listen to, which has to go down as one of the most ridiculous statements I have ever heard in my entire life.